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The author: Priscilla Kuukua Akonor

Wardrobe series: Confessions

Priscilla Kuukua Akonor
Then one day I went to a party with the guys… that was where I met Mina…..
Mina was bubbly, hot, funny, and had everything about a woman that will blow a man’s mind and make him do things without thinking….”

“My eyes followed her when she took to the dancing floor, turning her curves in an erotic way… My eyes followed her when she giggled …
My eyes followed her when she took calculated steps like a model…
I couldn’t take my eyes off her for a second…she mesmerised me…
I finally walked up to her and invited her for a dance…”

She accepted….. We danced to the first tune, then the next and the next……then we began feeling cozy in each others arms…
I pressed her body very close to mine…..she didn’t hold back….she laid her head on my bosom…

The attraction was like magnet….glued to each other like lovers…
Before I knew it she brushed her lips on mine, then I kissed her….
It was like a journey of no return. … I wanted to press “stop” as on a CD player but I was too blown away by the pleasures of the moment that I couldn’t find the will power to as it were press the “stop” button…..
I ended up in her bed that night…..

“The days that followed were like honeymoon ….
Mina treated me like a king, her king….
My nights were never without company….
My bed was always warm…..
I knew I was threading on very dangerous grounds…..but I couldn’t stop what was happening… I was hooked unto her like cocaine….”

“I tried Adwoa, countless times, to end the fling but whenever I set eyes on Mina, all those thoughts disappeared…..
I was scared you would find out sooner or later and that gave me no peace of mind, but Mark told me it was normal and that I would get over it….”

“So that’s how it was; my many excuses of extra work load were all made up…. it was just to give me the opportunity to be with Mina…. My sanity came when Mina told me she was pregnant … I was confused and upset at the same time…. I wondered how she could get pregnant because we used protection every single time….
Abortion was out of question for me, neither did I want you to find out…
Mina insisted that I marry her since I had put her in the family way…..
So after much careful thought I decided to break up with you in order to spare you the agony of being scarred for life, knowing that you have a fragile heart.”

“The story of the man of God saying no to our relationship like I said was all made up by me…..

“What I found out a few months later shocked me to my bones, and I realised how foolish I had been… Mina was not pregnant like she said…. it was only a ploy to tie me down in marriage…..

“Secondly, my meeting of Mina at the party wasn’t a coincidence like I thought….. it was all orchestrated by my friends. .. Suddenly everything made meaning…. How Mina was all over me and gave herself to me……

They knew how to get me and they baited me with a woman of my taste……
I only got to know these details when Mina got frustrated that I wasn’t as rich as my friends made her believe. .. I ended up miserable and lonely; losing the love of my love to vain pleasures…..”

When he was done, I was still gaping in utter shock….. I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing. .. I was lost for words, but I still tried to find my voice. ..

“Paa Kow, I loved you with every bit of my being. …you were the first man I fell in love with, and I prayed you will be my first and last…. but what did I get in return for loving you?….betrayal, disappointment, lies, heart break……
Did I do anything wrong insisting that we have a relationship which pleases God? True, I am the weaker sex, but in the issues of sex and sexual temptations, you are very vulnerable as a man…and so I tried to be strong for both of us….
I fought myself from being a stumbling block to your holy living.
I didn’t want to be the reason why you disobey God…..
You have no idea of the many nights I had to cry myself to sleep, all because I was burning and needed a man to touch me, but because I didn’t want to defile myself, I locked myself up in my room and avoided seeing you…..
You have no idea of the sexual cravings I have had to extinguish during my ovulation days with the fire of holy ghostic tongues….
I did all that for you, for us…. because I loved you and I wanted to make our first night together as a couple special, honourable, and command God’s blessings for our chastity…..
But you pushed me so hard to the wall…. I went against my vow to God…. I know God forgave me after I asked for his forgiveness but Paakow do you know I went to all those lengths because I loved you so much?

“You paid me back by throwing my love to the dogs. …and here you are telling me it was because the other woman readily opened her legs to you. …hmmm did you hear yourself? What kind of cheap love is that? It hurts me to hear all these, but I thank God for all that has happened. … Everything has fallen in place…. My love is not cheap, it is costly and it comes at a high price…… I thank God for giving me an angel in Nii Noi who values and treasures the love we share……I can beat my chest in confidence that he holds our love like an egg in his hands….and I don’t intend to let him go…..Even now, you have given me more reason why I should hold on tightly to him and I thank you…

“As for your guilt, I release you…. I forgive you, not because you deserve it but because, I carried a weightier load of sin but at the cross Jesus forgave me and exchanged my sinfulness for his righteousness. ..and so just as he forgave me, I also forgive you…..
However, because of what happened today, it will do us good if we don’t see ourselves again….”

PaaKow was on his knees all the while I was talking, pleading my forgiveness…. I felt so much pity for him….

“Adwoa, he began again, I respect your wish and I won’t bother you again… but before I leave for good, I want you to know that you are a jewel… a jewel I threw into the sea…
No woman has been able to fill the emptiness you left in my heart…. I keep comparing them to you, to their chagrin. …
When our paths crossed again, I knew it was my opportunity to right the wrongs I made in the past, so I decided to fight tooth and nail to win you back…. but now I have blown away all my chances….
I don’t deserve you, Nii does… and I wish
I had the opportunity to tell him what goldmine you are….

Adwoa, please find a place in your heart to forgive me, he concluded, with tears streaming down his face….

I looked away….

And on that note, he walked out of the door, with his head bowed in shame….and that was the last time I saw him….

I felt sorry for him…and for myself, for the mess I have gotten myself into…..
I wept so loudly as if I had been beaten… I sat in the bath, soaped and washed myself so many times……as if to undo what had happened…..
My thoughts were as hot as a red hot oven…..
“God forgive me and have mercy…” I repeated that over and over again…..
Nii……… oh my Nii
How was I going to break this news to him? How was he going to react?….
“Oh God please show me how to cross this bridge” I entreated…..
“I admit my mistakes, I failed to listen to reason, but please I don’t want to lose Nii Noi too”….

I cried till I had no strength left….
I travailed in prayer the whole night….
I woke up with a terrible head ache and a flu……
On the brighter side, I also woke up with peace of mind; hopeful that everything was going to be alright.

I went straight to Anita’s house when I got back home……
She listened to me as I narrated everything that happened. …
Earlier, she had advised me against going to spend the weekend alone in Takoradi for the funeral but I insisted I could manage it….her advice was for me to go for the funeral and return the same day, but when I became adamant, she threw in the towel.

When I was done with my narration, she said…”Adwoa, the worst has already happened and there is no need crying over spilled milk… I won’t judge you for not listening to me…neither am I going to tell you “I told you so”…..

I believe you have learnt your lesson, only that you did the hard way. ..
What’s important for me now is Nii…. he has to know everything that has happened. ..
I know now it will be more difficult to tell him than before, but my dear if you want to have peace with your past and peace for the future, you have to let him know…”

“But first, pray about it…. God made Nii’s heart and he alone is able to turn it as he wishes… I am positive that Nii will understand and forgive you”….
I felt more relieved after talking to Anita….
I went home with thanksgiving on my heart to God for such a friend like Anita…. She has wisdom beyond her years……

“We fall down but we get up, for a Saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up”
Wardrobe series continues next week…

#Wardrobe series #Sister Sister

By: Priscilla Kuukua Akonor | Facebook: @Sister Sister

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