Last Friday night my girls and I decided to see the new Ghanaian film “Rebecca” at the Mall, it had been a tiring week for all of us, and I especially needed some company on Friday night, being the only single amongst them. Susan was late as usual, her boss was on leave that meant that she had to do extra work to finish up an advertising campaign they were working on.
We waited for her at the car park while Elsie chatted about everything and nothing, Elsie likes to talk, she has no conversation sensor, she says anything and everything, sometimes I wonder how colleague doctors feel about her ability to assure her patients of their confidentiality in her consulting room. Elsie has weight issues, she is a very pretty girl, no doubt, she speaks well, she’s fun to be with and she’s a great cook! Her husband Jeff loves her to bits, I’ve always wondered how their sex life was like, because he’s really skinny and a bit shorter than she is, I don’t know if these things matter when it comes to sex, I’ve never had sex, but she always tells us these great stories about how wonderful he is in bed and I sincerely don’t really believe he’s all that.
So Elsie started talking about one of her sex stories which caught my attention; that morning, while they were making love, Jeff went down on her, but his tongue went wondering about other places, somewhere in between the folds of her inner thighs, she asked him what he was doing, playfully only to discover that he didn’t even realize he had “missed road.” He thought he was actually in the middle where he ought to have been. Imagine her shock and embarrassment, this got them into a very frank conversation about what might have gone wrong. How did he take a wrong turn down there? He opened up to her about his problems with her weight, her big thighs, stomach and many folds, and eventually, about the fact that her vagina is too hidden.
Now that got me wondering; Elsie’s case may be peculiar because of her size but even with you guys who have skinny girls, do you have to look at a woman’s vagina in order to go down on her? I sincerely don’t know, do you look? Wait a minute, the light is almost always off, and if what I see on my favorite site is anything to go by, you close your eyes while you’re at it.
May I ask, have you ever taken time to take a good look of your lady’s “vagina’, do you have any idea what it actually looks like? If there were an identity parade of ‘vaginas’ would you be able to point out your lady’s?
You see, the truth is, many women don’t even know what their own ‘vagina’ looks like, it had never even crossed my mind until I saw the Vagina Monologues Play by Eve Ensler. So I tried to look at it, and I won’t lie, it was a real hustle. Lol, like most of the women in the play, I couldn’t find it, I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s a very complicated uncomfortable thing to do, and by the time you’re done, you’d probably have a back ache, I eventually took a selfie of it, and my oh my was a surprise! It’s embarrassing to say but before that epic selfie, the only time I’d actually seen the inside of a woman’s vagina was in Porn…and it was horrid! But after seeing mine, and remembering the lines in Eve Ensler’s play, I began to reconsider, maybe it’s not horrid, maybe we’ve been raised to think and feel it’s a horrid, no-go-abomination-zone. Try innocently touching your vagina and be sure your mum will give you some good scolding, we can’t even say the word VAGINA, lol, the word has come to be associated with all things weak and unacceptable, for instance, if a man acts weak, petty, gossips or in an “odd-unmanly-manner” they say he has a vagina, if a woman/man is bold, strong, focused, articulate, they say she has “balls” – statements like these about our special parts go a very long way to affect how we perceive ourselves as women in our society. Perhaps we should grow some VAGINA LOVE and associate the word with all the good things we can, for instance, if a person is weak and sluggish and unable to adapt to the pressures of life, ask them to GROW A VAGINA! Balls are weak and they kinda sag don’t they? Lol
So back to the matter, it’s Friday night, instead of hanging with the boys tonight, it’s to do a little exercise, pick your girl up from work tonight, take her home…. Lay her down in bed, take off her underwear, spread her legs gently, don’t touch it, don’t kiss it, heck don’t take your lips close, just look at it, just take a long good look at it, it may freak her out in the beginning but calm her down, tell her how beautiful she is down there, watch it open and close, take note of the clearly defined different shades and colors of each opening, smile, take a photo of it if you want……….the rest is entirely up to you. #Wink