Betrayal is one of the most difficult experiences human beings struggle to deal with. And when back-stabbing occurs at the hands of an intimate partner, the challenge to rise above it is amplified a thousand fold.
Women tend to internalize betrayals and can easily fall into the trap of thinking that they are the reason their partner wandered.
Internalizing the betrayal compromises your mental and emotional health. But it is also easy to ignore the fact that his cheating actions are plainly his fault. Blaming yourself lets him off way too easily.
You’re never responsible for another person’s actions and even if you messed up in the relationship, do not beat yourself up.
You did not make him do this. No one can make anyone do anything they do not want to.
The fact that your partner cheated, or at least tried to cheat, has more to do with them than it has to do with you.
One thing you should learn is that most affairs have nothing to do with love. A husband of wife’s infidelity is often an attempt to bury or avoid their inner problems or to compensate for something he is lacking inside. In this case, it’s not you, what you have done or not…it’s simply them.
Most of the time, people who cheat on their partners still love them. (this happens a lot with men). They still think they are beautiful. Perhaps they still want to spend the rest of their lives with them as husband and wife.
So…deep breath. What’s next? While your partners’s unfaithfulness isn’t on you, you can – and should – take control now to make sure your needs are taken care of.
It’s Okay To Rely On Your Family And Friends For Support
Because we all want to project the idea that our lives our perfect, you might feel ashamed about this ugly situation. However, it is absolutely important to share your situation with the friends and family members you trust most and lean on them as much as you can.
That said, it’s also important to remain the bigger person. Tell all the people you can and if your spouse is sincere in changing his ways and you do decide to stay together, then you’ll be thankful that you didn’t embark on a smear campaign.
It is also important to allow yourself to feel and express all your emotions and whether or not you decide to stay in the relationship, seeing a therapist can help you process this experience and move forward in a healthy way.
Women benefit most from this. When going through any traumatic moment, there’s comfort in confiding in somebody who you know can relate to you and understand your emotions. Whether that means joining a support group through your religious institution, getting feedback from others who truly empathize is extremely valuable.
Plus, by talking to people with whom you do not have a relationship with outside of the support group, you may feel more able to open up without fear of judgment or bias.
Know That Your Relationship Doesn’t Define You
When infidelity strikes, it’s easy to feel like your entire world is crumbling. Take a step back, and look at what’s still going right in your life. It’s important not to define yourself based solely on your relationship. You need to view intimate relationships as parts of your life, rather than central to your worth.
And remember: It’s not your fault, it’s his. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and relying on the other people in your life who love you to support you will help cement this in your mind during this difficult time.
But ultimately, never let your next partner pay the price of your former partner’s betrayal. Learn to trust again.
– See more at: http://www.myjoyonline.com/lifestyle/2015/september-23rd/youre-not-the-reason-your-partner-cheated.php#sthash.19YxHOuy.dpuf