Source: Francis Kwaku Kuma/GHANAWEB.COM
Internet dating sites and chat rooms are gaining popularity among Ghanaian eligible bachelors and sometimes the lecherous ineligible ones too in Europe and America. Many of these husbands and wives to be find these sites as an alternative to the traditional way of finding suitors at social gatherings like funerals, festivals, church programmes etc.
In fact these sites are more convenient for most of the blokes abroad who will want to marry from home. The introduction of social network sites like Face Book, WhatsApp, Twitter, YouTube etc has added glamour to the whole idea of on line courtships. Webcams have also increased the excitements surrounding it. Bored lads and lasses can sail into any of these fantasy worlds to soak sweet words from their suitors.
Usually Ghanaian guys abroad prefer getting wives back home in Ghana to eliminate the shocks that come with crossing cultural boundaries. Apart from that the home wives are more considerate and loving. They will not spend your money on cat foods or go on exotic Caribbean holidays. Also most Ghanaian guys will like to return home after long period of stay in foreign land to settle for a more dignified life back in Ghana. Yes a more meaningful life. Where parents will not leave home when the kids are asleep and return when they have gone to bed. It’s usually a difficult situation for some of the folks abroad. Husbands meet their wives at the doorway on their way out to work and vice versa.
Again with the home made wives it is easier to get the family back to Ghana without leaving any behind. There are exceptions to this argument though as some of the Ghanaian ladies abroad has become more European and Americans than the indigenes. Some also love their domido (fatty meat) so much so they just can’t exchange that for dry amanie fish (herrings) in Ghana.
The above notwithstanding finding a bride back home these days is like finding a needle in a haystack. When you waste the best part of your youth abroad you don’t expect the beautiful flowers you left behind not to pollinate do you? Searching for good wives is even harder. In the past parents and family members will groom one of these jewels solely for your eyes. Things have changed in this unique indigenous way of match-making. Family members are no longer eager to act as conduits for match makings. No, not after the humiliation they had to endure when the grooms abandon their wives just after the marriage ceremony for white ladies for papers.
Anyway in some instances some of the lucky wives join their husbands to enjoy the bliss of marriage life. All that glitter is not gold. These lucky ones usually tend into vipers and sunk their fangs into the fingers that fed them. The ingrates sow poisonous seeds of discord between their husbands and their family members who groomed them for their husbands.
The difficulty in finding brides at home is resulting in most wannabe husbands surfing dating sites for wives. In fact these sites are handy and a quicker way of getting acquainted to a lady. Quite a few blokes have found love by knocking on the doors of some of these chat rooms. Some have resulted in enviable and beautiful marriages.
Yes some lucky surfers have found angelic wives who have brought them everlasting joy. Sometimes it’s good to meet a total stranger than to get stuck to the girl or guy next door who will always take you for a fool.
It is not all these internet marriages that are rosy. Some have really resulted in very nasty situations with both parties cursing the day they went skiing on the snowy mountains of chat rooms. They wish for the obliteration of these dating graving yards.
The marriages collapsed with the same lightening speed with which they were contracted. The break ups has cause so much rancour between the parties involved. Some of the people involved are now emotional wrecks and the children from these wed locks traumatised.
Fantasying with a stranger on internet chat rooms is not all it takes to spread your thighs apart. Remember there are some serial surfers that have skills in writing the best love sonnets in this world.
They can sing all the RnB love songs in the whole of America just to convince you of their love. Well, burying your head in love tunes that make you walk the cottons of the heavens is no excuse for being a victim for such predators. Marriage counsellors will tell you marriage is a life long commitment so you just don’t leap into one because you had your heads in the clouds.
These useful dating sites which are providing valuable services to lonely souls have been infiltrated by some greedy pimps. These evil people have recruited innocent teenager girls and selling their chastity to willing buyers.
The pimps pay for these innocent souls to browse in search of some other confused souls for mating. The pimps get their cut when these fallen angels hit a jackpot. The vulnerable girls are sent to the lairs of some dangerous fugitives and paedophiles for romantic escapades.
The chat rooms have also been hacked into by some lady gold diggers. These ladies hop from one match- making sites to the other in search of victims to fleece. They usually advertise themselves with very captivating pictures. The truth is the pictures are that of models they download from the internet.
Their evil intentions are usually exposed when their on line suitors decide to pay them a visit in Ghana. These guys are cunning as well. They go into these chat rooms when they know they will be visiting Ghana soon. They know they will surely require the services of some of these browsers so they dish out freebies willy-nilly.
Knowing they will be caught pants down the ladies quickly send their real caricature pictures. These pictures are usually off tangent to the Naomi Campbell type advertised on the dating sites. According to guys who have been victims of these scammers the more you try to reconcile the model like pictures to that of the caricature ones the more you get confused.
Finding true love in our part of our world is more like a mirage especially when you are an adult. The story is a lot different for teenagers because they are sometimes oblivious to our craze for flashy cars. For the discerning adults a lot of soul searching is done before people leap frog into the fragile world of courtship.
There is soul searching about tribe, the perfume you wear, financial status etc. Some ladies will not date a guy from a particular tribe and vice versa. Where is the Love? The omen was foretold by Lucky Dube, ‘There is no true love in this world anymore’.
Francis Kwaku Kuma Koforidua Polytechnic Kwakuhull@yahoo.com