Many relationships go through breakup at some point and the tendency for some people to get back together is positive, though, it sometimes depends on the cause of the breakup. Most people do not analyse the situation before going back to their ‘exes.’
They go back and get hurt the second time leaving them feeling betrayed without realizing that they were the author of the whole scenario. Before you hastily go back with your ex, here are some questions you should answer and this will tell you if you need your ex or not;
1. Why didn’t it work the first time
It is very important to know why the relationship did not work the first time when your ex is begging you to come back. You should consider why you are getting back to him because what caused the first breakup might still be a problem. If you are going back to him out of convenience or to make other people happy or maybe you are scared of not being able to get another person that will love you, all these reasons will only end up in a second breakup.
2. What are the good reasons to get back to him
Most relationships that have a successful reconciliation happens if the initial breakup is due to timing or long distance, your relationship should be your priority at all times in order to get it running smoothly. Relationships need a lot of nurturing and you need to step up and get your life in order to get a place where you can treat someone the way they deserve to be treated. The bottom line is that if you want a successful long-term relationship, you need to make it your everyday priority and unless you can do this, there is a chance it still will not work.
3. What are some reasons you should definitely not get back to your ex
Most times people with low self-esteem do convince themselves that they are not worthy to be loved which makes them settle for someone who does not even respect or value them. It is natural to date again after a breakup but it can be very challenging especially if your ex starts dating again before you, it is human nature and you need to remind yourself that it is normal to be interested in your ex again when another person finds your ex more attractive. Do not misinterpret his jealousy as a sign that you made a mistake of leaving him. Please note that infidelity is not a reason not to go back to your ex, though it may be a reason for breakup but many couples always come out of it even stronger, it all depends on people’s capacity to forgive and what you understand to be a deal breaker.
4. Ho do we move ahead together into a new relationship
You can only initiate a cheerful and enjoyable relationship if you forgive, trust and move forward together. Forgiving your partner means accepting what happened in the past and not holding it against your partner, you will let go of the things that have hurt you and learn to trust your ex with your heart again. Words lack meaning when behaviors do not back them up and trust is created when each of your actions match up with your words; this means that the two of you have created a sense of safety and security in the new relationship. You know that you can rely on each other for support, protection and sense of belonging; you will put each other first before friends and work to meet each other’s needs. Are you convinced that your partner will be able to provide these fundamental requirements?