What is female ejaculation, where does it emanate from, and how do you know when you have one?
By Laura Berman, PhD
Female ejaculation isn’t a myth, but it may be an elusive phenomenon for some women because it is not widely or often discussed. In fact, many women feel embarrassed when it happens and think they’ve urinated on their partner or the bed. Until relatively recently, the medical community wasn’t sure either.
As late as the 1980s, most doctors who were aware of the phenomenon of women ejaculating assumed the fluid must be urine. As a treatment, they would recommend exercises to strengthen the pelvic muscles, such as Kegels. The truth is, many women do leak a little urine during sex and during other activities as well, like sneezing, coughing, or laughing (if you’ve had children, you know what I’m talking about!), but urine is not the same as female ejaculate.
The Composition and Origin of Female Ejaculate
Since 2000, an increasing number of researchers have suggested the liquid may come from the Skene’s glands, which are located on the anterior wall of the vagina around the lower end of the urethra. But the truth is we simply don’t know where ejaculate comes from and it’s something that doctors and researchers will continue to study and learn more about over the coming years.
As far as the amount of ejaculate, a woman can release as little as a teaspoonful or a capful, yet some claim to “squirt” a great deal more than that. Some studies suggest that all women ejaculate when they reach orgasm, but instead of the fluid being released from the vagina, it is pushed back up into the bladder when the muscles are tightened post-climax. Hence, some women might experience retrograde ejaculate, while others ejaculate outside the body.
Can Female Ejaculation Be Taught? Female ejaculation is generally achieved by stimulating the G-spot, which is considered an erotic zone located internally, at the front of the vagina. This area is intimately connected with the urethra. Indeed, pressure on the G-spot area will invariably produce a desire to pee.
There is no doubt that pressing on the area of the G-spot would affect the above-mentioned Skene’s glands. To experience its powers, find a position (such as man-from-behind or woman-on-top) that offers the right stimulation, friction, and deep penetration. Your partner will need to build up pressure on your G-spot as he thrusts, while either of you stimulates your clitoris at the same time. As you approach and reach orgasm, push out hard with your pelvic-floor muscles rather than squeezing in, as most women naturally do.
You can also use a sex toy, with or without the help of a partner. There are many made with a special curve known as a “G-spot stimulator.”
Not every woman can easily ejaculate, so don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t work as you expect. It may be more difficult for some because of your physical makeup, weak pelvic-floor muscles, inability to properly relax, etc. However, every woman has the biological anatomy to ejaculate — so it is possible, in theory, that if you pay attention to this very special body part you will reap the rewards.
Since your G-spot may not be accustomed to stimulation, you might have to work on it regularly to feel it begin to open and become sensitized to touch. You can create a G-spot stimulation ritual with your partner or on your own — or both!
Remember, practice makes perfect. Keep trying and just go with the flow to master this trick.
Last Updated: 01/08/2013
Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.